[cfgeeks] How's your day?

[Shawn McMahon]

Here's the leadup to mine.

Developer to manager: "Need sudo to oracle on the servers where I'm
installing this software, how do I request that?"

Manager: "Don't worry, I'll request it for you with my Magic Manager Powers!"

Manager to me: "Developer needs sudo to oracle on server foo0 to
install software bar."

Me: "Ok, temporary access granted, please let me know when the work is done."

Developer: "I can't sudo to Oracle on foo1".

Me: "Because you didn't request foo1; you requested foo0.  Manager,
does she need foo1?"

Manager: "Okey-dokey!"

Other dev: "Uhm, actually, it's on foo0, not foo1; she doesn't need foo1."

Me: "I don't care.  Here's both.  Wake me when you're done."

Two days later, me to manager: "Is this work done?"

Manager: "Okey-dokey!"

Me: "Access deleted.  Ticket closed."

3.5 weeks later, Dev to Manager: "I still don't have that access yet."

Manager to me: "Why why WHY??!!!!"

Me: "Because you requested access for a specific task and said the
task was done a month ago, so I removed the access and closed the
ticket.  You got an email."

Manager: "Sorry, I thought you meant had you done the work."

Me: "You thought I was asking you if *I* had done the work?"

Manager: "okey-dokey!"

Me: "Ok, create a new request.  List exactly what servers you want.
If the access is permanent, say so."

Manager: "Okey-dokey!"

Dev: "sudo isn't working.  Here's the errors: (cut and paste of errors
on servers bar, baz, quux)."

Me: "Because you requested access on foo0 and foo1.  Nobody mentioned
bar, baz, quux until now."

Dev: "Also, I can't sudo to otheruser, even on foo0 and foo1!"

Me.  (banging head on monitor).  "Because.  You.  Didn't.  Request.  It."

Dev: "Well your system is very confusing."

Me: "What is different about our system as opposed to anybody else's
that would make us figure out that if you request sudo to one of our
700 users, you actually mean two of our 700 users, as opposed to all
700?"

Dev: "Manager didn't request otheruser?"

Me: "No.  Why don't you write your own request and I'll just have
Manager sign it?"

Dev: "you can do that?"

Me: "No, because I just SHOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD AND I'M DEAD."  (BANG!)